Standing at the intersection of Babylon and God's Kingdom

It struck me a few weeks ago that my view on the kingdom of heaven might be completely screwed up.

For as long as I can remember, it has been about the coming of the kingdom. It was something far off, something that would happen after the second coming and something that I really had no control over. What is funny to me is that I have also thought often about bringing heaven to earth by what I do. Nonetheless I think I fell a little short.

In conjunction with this thought has been my own personal wrestling with the church. I have had this sinking feeling that we are giving up our God-given right to impact the world. Sure, it is happening at times and with a few people but mostly we sit silent while celebrities stand at our pulpit. As a people pleaser, I certainly understand the fear of offending someone. I even understand not speaking up when we are supposed to out of fear. I do it personally because at times I doubt I have the right to say something. But not the church. She is strong. She has power to change the world or at least to usher in a new kingdom.

I have friends who are passionate about this. Most of them are still fighting this fight but every once in a while one drops by the wayside. Tired. Defeated. Frustrated. Bored with meetings and discussions. Confused. Hearing a call for something...different but unsure what the first step should be.

I met a guy today. His name is George. He lives in West Virginia in a town you have never heard of. He works at a Baptist church and is in his 70's. He retired a few years ago from a job in D.C. and moved back to the country. He is one of those facinating people who fluctuate between brilliance and insanity. A conversation with him is one that requires a seat belt or at least a strong stomach. My favorite phrase from him was, "Now this will blow your hat in the creek."
George was reading his Bible a while back and got stuck in the book of Nehemiah. He was convicted by Nehemiah's story, how he was broken over the walls of Jerusalem and did whatever he could to rebuild them. George said he was gripped by the fact it only took 52 days to rebuild the walls. He decided it was time for a personal revival. His first action was to build a fire in front of his church that will burn for 52 days to symbolize to the community his fire to do something. He has decided to do service work around his city and somehow word has leaked out about this old dude. When our lunch was over he was headed back to check on a work crew that was putting a bathroom in. Right now he is in the midst of 52 days of doing service in his city because he got bothered by a devotion in Nehemiah.

I've read Nehemiah before. I thought it was a cool story. I really liked how the built the wall with one hand and carried a sword in the other.

One of the things I like most about what I do is it doesn't allow me to become too callous. I hope.

Yesterday I met two sisters. They live here in West Virginia as well. They live together in a little house and help each other out. One is completely blind and the other is a double amputee who lost both of her legs. They were on my list of people who might need some help. What they need is somebody to spend a day moving stuff out of their closets downstairs because they can't reach it anymore. Oh, and they need their windows cleaned since the hose doesn't reach the top windows from her wheelchair. It is almost comical. It is completely frustrating.

This afternoon I met Kim. She lives way out at the end of a road where the pavement ends, deep in a hollow (holler). She is divorced and was a victim of domestic abuse. He has two kids she's trying to take care of while she goes through chemo. When I got out of the car her first words were, "I used to have a haircut like that!". In case you are wondering, we will be working for her this summer.

My best friend from high school has cancer. He first found out a couple years ago and they did surgery to remove the tumor which was the size of a football. A football. After a year or so of good days, he has relapsed. Hospice is there now. A few weeks ago he recorded a video for his family to watch after he's gone. Two weeks ago he recorded audio of his voice so his kids could remember what their dad's voice sounded like and so "they'd know how much I love them."

I was reading last night about lenses. This phenomonal book ,which is to blame for the post you are reading, was talking about how we view things in our spiritual life. It was making the point that everything is viewed through our eyes, with our perspective and ultimately with our best intentions in mind, you know, how it benefits me. I like a verse on grace because it is good for me. I like a verse on forgiveness because I certainly need it. The author was saying he and his small group met for a period of time and simply read scripture with someone with a specific need in mind. As best they could they put on the lenses of the abused woman, the dad with cancer and kids who haven't even reached 8 years old, the blind woman who has never actually seen God's creation. They said it completely changed scripture. He, being a preacher, realized how many times he was putting his personal biases into scripture and was interpreting instead of studying. He was putting himself into the text rather than putting the text into him.

So what I have been realizing is that even though I knew it was wrong, I have been guilty of seeing scripture within the context of a building. What I am grateful for is that this "job" forces me to take scripture deep into a hollow, into a conversation, into a living room.

I realize this is extremely thin ice I'm skating but I this is why at this point in life I cannot see myself working in a church again. I just cannot handle conversations about buildings, programs and the appeal of the lobby. My friends who are fighting that fight can. That's why I love them. That is why I pray for them. I pray that they can make that body more alert.

I fear many of us show up on Sunday morning expecting to be entertained, not filled. We want to walk out with a buzz rather than a burden. We see that gathering as something for us, something catered to our needs since our life is hard. We look for popular and relevant rather than satisfying and disturbing. I too often find myself focused on my little pain rather than thinking of those who know little beyond their pain.

A few weeks ago the History channel ran a special to remember Martin Luther King. Ever since I've been to Memphis his story has caught my attention and so in the evenings I watched the retelling of his story.

One thing about the documentary has really stuck with me. It was during an interview with an old rapper, I think he was from Run DMC or some other amazing group. He was talking about the legacy of MLK and said the thing that saddened him the most was that the longer MLK has been dead the more mild he becomes. He fears that people no longer see him as the revolutionary that he was. He no longer is seen as a bold, fearless and peaceful resister of the status quo. The sad thing is I heard the same thing said about Jesus a few weeks ago. I fear it might be true of the church too often as well.

"While we are highly attuned to avoid a faithful peculiarity that might offend, we also avoid a faithful peculiarity that might redeem."
"The power that defines us is not the power of God we meet and know through worship; it's the social power of being "normal", accepted, popular, tolerant."
"Our unwillingness to live as faithful exiles explains our capacity to chase culture rather than transform it." (The Dangerous Act of Worship)

Do I love the church. Yes. Do I believe in the church. Definately. Is there any better way to bring about the kingdom than through the church. No.
I simply long for us to wake up.
I.need.to.wake.up.

"The church is asleep. Not dead. Not necessarily having trouble breathing. But asleep.
We are asleep to God's heart for the poor and oppressed, absorbed with our own inner life, wrestling with our own dreams and traumas that , for all their vividness, are unknown, unseen and largely unreal to the world around us." (The Dangerous Act of Worship)

The kingdom is not in the sweet future. It needs to be now. People need to see it. I/we need to stop settling for comfort and application that meets our needs. We strive for relevance and yet are viewed as antiquated or detached or out of touch with the needs of our community. Maybe it is time we build our own bonfire.

Something I Don't Understand

My dad was an only child. I'm an only child.
It happens almost daily that I look at my kids (plural) amazed at the bond that is already there. Whether it is walking around the house, playing in the yard or sitting at the dinner table there is a bond there, a connection that I've not ever experienced. I've had good friends, I've got the greatest wife ever but I can't fathom the bond of borther and sister.

Right now Carter is outside riding his bike and whenever he rides by the window Brynn seems to sense it and with a high pitched squeal makes a beeline for the window. Buh-Buh! Buh-Buh! Then there are the moments where he's on one side of the window and she's on the other. Sure, he drives her crazy (he is a boy after all) and she takes his toys and messes up his puzzles but man do they love each other. Every morning Ang can sit by the monitor and hear Carter go wake his sister up. They sit in her room talking and laughing until chubby gets hungry! I will admit there were times that I only wanted one kids. Man am I glad God knew better.

If he thinks I'm crazy enough for three however....