Praying for Jon and Jess

For those of you who follow this blog, I want you to be aware of a serious prayer need for a couple of amazing friends from Quincy. Jessica is having surgery on Friday and I'm asking you to join in praying for them. You can follow the updates by searching Please Pray for Jess

Here's what they put on their facebook page:

Nearly three years ago, we found out that my wife, Jess, has a serious brain condition. She has what is called an AVM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arteriovenous_malformation). They discovered it because, on December 1, 2007, she had a brain hemorrhage that she recovered from, and in the following April, her AVM was treated with Gamma Knife (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamma_knife) because it is located in an area of her brain that is difficult to access surgically. The risk with Gamma Knife, though, is that its effectiveness is gradual. It treats the AVM by building scar tissue which is a process that takes years to complete. Until that process is complete, she runs the risk of it bleeding again.

That is exactly what happened on October 29, 2010. She has been stable in the hospital, recovering steadily. The plan the doctors were leaning towards again was to do another treatment of Gamma Knife. They said the first treatment is working tremendously so far and that given another 1.5-2 years, it would probably finish the job on its own.

Unfortunately, on November 7, it bled again while she was in the hospital. Time now seems more critical, because any bleed could be catastrophic. They are now recommending surgery - to be performed probably on Friday, November 12th. This is a major surgery with very real risks. Even if successful, the recovery will be long and rough.

On September 29th of this year, we adopted our first child, Mae Denise. She is 6 weeks old, is the best thing that has ever happened to us, and needs her mother to come home soon. All Jessica has ever wanted to do was be a mommy. Please pray that she can be just that.

A good friend, Candace Baker, started this page and asked if I would write this to explain our situation so that more of you can pray for my amazing wife. Words cannot describe how much I appreciate all of you. I will link to the updates that I've been writing along the way for friends and family.

Thank you again for taking the time to read about our situation. If possible, please pray for my wife. Pray for her healing and pray for her doctors and their wisdom.

Thank you so much,

Jon Pittman

Do you want to simulate this game?

Currently Listening to: Martin by Zac Brown Band

I need to make a confession. It impacts not just how I spend my time but how I am parenting my son. I love video games. Yeah, I know. This colossal waste of time where nothing good can ever happen and this area of my life that takes tons of money is one of my vices. Not only do I like it, I have hooked my son on it as well.

Go ahead, judge me. I blame Mario, Link, Icarus and the people at Nintendo. I'm working on a class action suit right now that would allow me to retire to the Bahamas and put my kids through 4 years of school at Oregon.

If you will indulge me, let me tell you what Carter and I love to do more than anything. We pop in Madden and rather than play the games, we simulate them. We pick some team (99% of the time the Colts) and begin to simulate the games. We love the off-season where we run the draft, sign free agents and Carter's favorite part is working trades. Early indications are that he's either going to work on Wall Street or run a pawn shop. Both are good.

We simulate for say 6 or 7 years and see if we can build a dynasty. Usually we win at least one Super Bowl but every once in a while we fail worse than the Cubs. Every once in a while we don't have a winning season, our budget gets all jacked like Enron and end up relieved of our duties.

But here's the beauty of doing that on a video game. We just start over. Plus, since we've done it so many times, we know the way the stystem works. We know how to make unfair trades, we know the free agents the computer loves and we know what guys on the Colts roster are as useful as a spork.

Why am I babbling about video games? Follow me for a second.

Because in life there is no simulation button. Once we choose a path, we live those consequences. There is no reset button where we can turn the system off without saving it. Sure, there are second chances and there are grace, man am I happy about that. But there are also moments where we stand like Robert Frost at a fork in the road and only get to choose one direction.

And there is no chance for us to come back and choose a different adventure. There is no keeping your finger on that page while you turn ahead and see if the adventure you picked turns out well. Once you flip the page, you've determined that move for good.

That being said, I think each day is like this. We only get it once and what we do with it needs to matter. Take that how you want. Redeeming your day is not for me to decide. But in a society who loves do-overs, here's to making the right choice the first time. Here's to making the most of the decisions we've already made. And here's to one last attempt at making the Cleveland Browns a viable football team on Madden.

Thanks to God's Economy by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove for inspiring this post.

Shhhhh

Currently Listening to: Silence

"The discipline of prayer is the intentional, concentrated, and regular effort to create space for God." -Henri Nouwen

I've been getting my tail kicked lately on the disciplines of prayer and solitude. As an introvert, I really don't mind solitude, its just that I seem to be too busy for it and there are usually too many people around. I think everybody at the office has been in on my need for solitude though, since everybody has been on the road, there have been a total of 3 of us at the office every day this week.

But this week I have been reminded of why every moment cannot be a go moment. Without some stillness, we can get so caught up in our activity that we begin to hear only our own thoughts.

I drove to work one day this week with no radio (which is almost torture for me). I found myself anxious to get to work and almost frustrated by the silence. It made me realize how addicted I am to noise, even good noise. I was talking with one of my profs about this and we came to the agreement that sometimes even good noise can drown out the best voice we can listen to.

So how about you? When is the last time you heard God's voice? When is the last time you slowed down enough to let your body relax so you could hear the best wisdom there is.

Here's the thing though: slowing down takes longer than my commute home. In the winter when my friend Keith and I head to the monastery, it takes about 12 hours before I finally feel any peace. The first few times we head into a time of prayer, my legs are jumping, I'm squirming like a 3 year old at a wedding and I find every single noise an opportunity for distraction. But if I set aside enough time, I find that suddenly I'm sitting stiller, my heart rate is more consistent and I finally have enough junk out of my head that I have some space to be refilled with great stuff.

So here's to setting aside some time to chill out. Here's to a little "shhhh". Who knows, we might actually hear something profound when we quit listening to ourselves.

"Somewhere we know that without a lonely place, our lives are in danger. Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning; that without listening, speaking no longer heals; that without distance, closeness cannot cure. Somewhere we know that without a solitary place, our actions quickly become empty gestures. The careful balance between silence and words, withdrawal and involvement, distance and closeness, solitude and community forms the basis of the spiritual life and should therefore be the subject of our most personal attention." -Henri Nouwen

Why I hate opening presents in front of people

About 5 years ago I had the opportunity to spend a week in Baja Mexico building a home for a woman along with a couple of youth groups. The week was a powerful one and I will always remember the final day when the father of the woman who we were building the house for came and made amazing carne asada over an open fire. We ate like kings that day and it was this very cool moment where the woman, her two children and her parents shared a meal with all of us gringos. When the meal was over with, we made a big circle and each student was able to share a few sentences of encouragement and blessing on the lady before the last person handed her the key to the front door of the first home she had ever owned.

You could try, but you'll never erase the memory of the tears on her face. You could think as I get older I'd forget, but as a dad, I remember looking at the face of this woman's father and seeing the peace, the joy and almost this sense of relief you could see as it meant so much to him for his daughter to have a roof over her head, a door she could lock and a room for her children to sleep in complete with a dresser, new sheets, nice new beds and a night light.

I remember seeing the impact this trip had on the students I had served with all week. They had worked hard and to see the fruit of their labor received with just gratefulness left all of us feeling like the week in Mexico was worth all the effort.

I'm guessing if you have been around youth ministry, you've had the same type of experience. They are great. They do some good.

But I'm wrestling with what they are really teaching everybody.

From the perspective of the lady, I can only guess. I know it is a huge blessing but since I've never been back, I don't know what that home meant to her long-term. I only have my idea of what that could do for her.

From the perspective of the kids, I have a slightly better idea. Man, the more I think about this, the more I feel judgmental. I guess its hard to decipher what was meant as a nice gesture and where we crossed the line into thinking they needed the same things we would expect in our house. Not that there is anything wrong with matching sheets, new stuff, coordinated paint and curtains. But I know that 20 students came up with over $450 of their own money and dropped it on furniture, decor and stuff. Some of them drove into town and hit the markets buying left and right in what I would imagine looked a lot like a timed shopping spree.

If I think about it, it was probably as extravagant and over the top as Extreme Makeover. Follow me, it wasn't the same amount of money that Ty and his tools use, but it was done with the same type of excess. Now, I know I'm picking on America's favorite improvement show but when I watch that show, those people deserve kindness no doubt but do they need 14 plasma TVs, a retractable roof over their new Olympic size swimming pool and 4 freezers?

Ok, I'll back off that. How about this. When Ty does his "move that bus" moment, who is that really for? Is it for the people who received or for the show and those that worked?

When we gave that woman the key to her home, who was that moment for?

I wonder what it felt like to be that woman who had very little and to be surrounded by 20 people who had come from America and spent thousands of dollars to build a home and then hand you the key, waiting for a response. I wonder what it felt like seeing that video camera rolling and knowing that whatever footage was captured right there was the pinnacle of the show the kids would show the rest of the church when they got home to justify flying 2500 miles and driving 300 more to serve.

I know how much I hate opening presents on my birthday in front of people. You know that awkward moment where you open it and then regardless of how much you like it, must react in front of everyone? Yeah, can't imagine that moment only instead of a new pair of footie pajamas, its a house.

This post has probably gone on long enough. All I'm saying is, it is time we think about what we are doing and what reaction we are really after. It's time we start finding a way to put our faith into action that actually considers what it feels like to be the other person.

Maybe a small quote from Friendship at the Margins

"If we minister with the hope of being thanked or with the expectation that those who receive our help will be grateful, we will not be in a good position to respond when they are not. Life-giving ministry flows from lives that are full of gratitude to God, not with an expectation of gratitude from others." -Heuertz