I wasn't in a hurry. In fact if I was, I'd have pulled out in front of them when I was leaving my street a few blocks earlier. They were a cute old couple obviously heading to town in their teal Chevy cavalier. She was driving and while I was following them, I couldn't see her head above the headrest. His barely showed so at moments it looked like the car was being propelled down the highway by no one.
I followed them for about as long as I could stand it. I can only drive 43 in a 55 for so long. When I finally pulled past them something clicked in my head and I wondered what they thought of me passing them. For some reason I had this idea that as they poked down the road they made some comment like "Remember when we used to be in a big rush like that?" Now, I'm totally reading into the situation. I wasn't a jerk as I passed them and for all I know she thought she was going the speed limit. From the looks of it, the ole Chevy wasn't exactly pristine.
But think about the last time somebody whipped past you on a two lane road. Usually we feel like we're going fast enough, otherwise we'd be driving faster. Almost always there is some sort of an instant judgment I make on those people. I may or may not even be guilty of hoping that up ahead I'll pass them pulled over by a cop. I know, real mature.
You've done the same thing.
I was having a conversation with my folks the other night about how it hit them that not so long ago they were taking me to events and grandparents were coming to cheer me on. Now I'm taking my kids and my parents are the grandparents showing up to ooh and aah.
The other night we all loaded up to make a Christmas memory. The kids were in the way back, grandpa and grandma were in the middle row and Ang and I took point. On the way home we were tired, cold and running on the 4 Krispy Kreme donuts we'd each had. About halfway home we stopped for gas and as I stood next the slowest pump ever trying to keep blood flowing in my body I looked through the back windows at my two kids. They were bundled under blankets and cashed out on pillows oblivious to the fact that we had stopped. Somewhere in their subconscious they'd decided dad had it under control and they were going to get some shut eye.
I remember doing the same thing, don't you? You'd find your spot in car, get comfy and wait for dads arms to carry you to bed once you'd arrived safely. You had no clue what happened on the drive. You might have made 3 Dukes of Hazzard jumps, dad may have dodged 4 deer or been pulled over 4 times but you didn't care because you slept like a rock.
Why do I say all this? Probably because it hit me the other day that the distance between cashed out while dad drives home and passed by the guy who thinks I drive too slow isn't really that far. On some level we all know that but I still don't think we live like it. Remember the last time you heard somebody say "It seemed like my kids grew up so slow. I mean, it was like each year took 10 and we were able to savor every moment."? Yeah, me neither.
This year my kids turn 8 and 4. Pretty young. I'm now squarely in my mid 30's which isn't so old but it ain't young either. Trust me, I tried to play basketball today. But I was still sitting at my neighbors house last night when two dads are telling me they remember when their kids were my kids age and now their grand kids are older than my children. They are left with some pictures they dug out of the drawer as proof. Other than that they see 'em once or twice a year and I get the idea they wished they had more time with them.
So here's to making memories. Here's to slowing down. Not all the way to 43, that's way too slow. But in the midst of something going on every stinking night, realize its these moments we never get back. Here's to making the best of the fact that you're going to be driving somewhere with a bunch of people sometime during the holidays. Here's to being fully present, even in the painful moments because soon they'll be gone. Here's to realizing we don't stay the age we are for very long so we'd best get all we can out of it. Here's to playing our part well whether that's sleeping, driving or being passed.
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