Tantrums of a Fuddrucker

Currently Listening: The Everglow by Mae

No, I didn't cuss in the title.

Somehow Joplin managed to find a restaurant not currently here and even cooler one that we would like. Fuddruckers. Ang has loved it for a long time and it has quickly become one of my favorites. Upon ,too much, evaluation I think its because you can determine the toppings on your burger and how much you want and the cheese sauce. Seriously, one can clog all or at least a majority of their arteries in just one sitting. Unfortunately for us the new Joplin locale is yet to get the amazing cheese dispenser.

So let me share first my reflections upon the meal and then possibly the deepest thought you’ve heard in some time.

I would like to spend an afternoon watching 2 things at Fuddruckers;
People determining which pop they want and then how to operate the machine which looks strangely like every other machine I’ve ever seen. One lady even said these words and I quote. “Go tell Harry this dumb place only has Diet Pepsi and not Diet Coke. Utterly ridiculous.”
People crafting their own burgers. Some do it with the precision and care of a spinal surgeon (or Doreen at a salad bar—if you’ve not seen this you must!) others go at it as thought this particular meal is either their first in weeks or possibly the food will begin to disappear if they don’t grab it soon.
Your parking lot should at least hold as many cars as your restaurant can people—there should be some sort of algebra problem for this. If I can figure out how long it took Tommy to get to Chicago on a train traveling 25 mph from Joliet while it took Terry twice as long at double the speed so what color was the hat of the conductor (okay, that made no sense, blame it on the semi-sweet sweet tea) then you can figure out how people don’t have to park 6 miles away—even though we parked in the front because my lovely wife is pregnant and if you don’t like it….I digress.
Finally, everybody should give you to go cups for a little more to drink when you eat in. It can’t cost them that much and it sure is nice. Plus you can stroll through the office with a cup and everybody knows you ate better than them.

Okay, I lied about the deep thought. Here’s the thought I had. Fuddruckers is amazing because they allow you to customize stuff. Some restaurants do it but they are the best in my opinion. It’s what makes Chipotle great even though they do it behind the counter—Fudd’s is amazing because I actually can take 3lbs of pickles back to my table if I so choose and if I can endure the odd looks from the staff that’s exactly what I’ll do. Seems like those of us in the church could put some effort into making a church experience more customizable. I know, its heresy. The spirit only speaks through one guy and in one message. I just wonder, if KS was more that way (Know Sweat, not Kansas—try to stick with me) I just wonder if church was more that way if people’d dig it. Not a customizable take what you want from theology—I’m not that liberal. Just wondering.

Oh, and my moleskine is on its way from Lexington as we speak. Soon we’ll be reunited.