It was the last Friday of February and I decided it was time to renew the tags on my car at the DMV. Yeah, I know I'd had the paperwork on it for over a month. It wasn't technically the last day of the month but it was the end of a long week and I figured what better way to cap a busy and stressful week than to hang out at the DMV on Friday afternoon right? It's true, I DO know how to party.
So after finding out I didn't have all the right paperwork (I've only lived here for 6 years so I'm still new at this whole thing) I headed over to the courthouse to secure the document saying that I was in deed a tax paying citizen of Missouri.
However once I talked with the lady I found out I indeed was not yet a tax paying citizen. The lady behind the desk was, well, not as helpful as I'd like and I was annoyed. She then asked me for the paperwork I was referring to which I of course had left in my car. The whole interchange was about as awkward and unproductive as that one time I tried to ask out a cheerleader.
So in much the same level of frustration I gave her the meanest look I could and said dismissively as I walked out the door "Thanks so much." At least on this occasion I didn't do anything overtly rude, I was just a jerk and by the time I was halfway home I knew it.
Since it was Friday afternoon when all this happened, I had all weekend to stew on the fact that I'd not handled the situation well and when I really thought about it, I was the person who was in the wrong. To make it worse I realized on Monday I was going to have to go back into the same office and face the same lady and still needed to pay my taxes. What's worse than one bad interaction with a person? Well, two of them would qualify in my book!
So Monday afternoon I prepared myself to eat some humble pie. I decided I would own up to being a turd and take whatever punishment was mine. And I would pay my taxes.
Monday afternoon arrived and as I opened the door to the room, I realized I was not the only person in the room with my nemesis. Turns out she'd done something to anger the woman across the counter from her. This lady was going off on the courthouse worker. I mean, it was epic. Like, you know when you have a dream of going off on that one person you are mad at and you imagine saying everything you are thinking and finally finding the justice you've been without? Yeah, this lady was doing that.
If there was an academy award for "best performance at the courthouse" this woman would win. She'd probably have earned best art direction, best makeup, best direction and earned the supporting actor role as well. I mean this in all respect, it was amazing. Now, it was inappropriate, she looked ridiculous but holy cow, she got her money's worth. When she was done being baby Mt. Vesuvius, she stormed out of the room and left me with my friend who I'd had the run in with on Friday.
"Well." I thought. "That certainly set me up to look nice."
The lady looked up from her paperwork and led with this question, "So, are you in a bad mood today too?"
Let's just say I had scripted how this reconciliation was going to go and things were waaaay off script by this point.
"No, I'm not but I was on Friday and I'm certain I was a big jerk to you so I want to apologize." I said.
For a brief second she looked at me and then responded, "Honey, I don't even remember you. What are you here for today?"
It clicked in that brief moment that all that I had beaten myself up over didn't matter. Had I come in today without a desire to apologize, I would have gotten away with it because she didn't even recognize me. That's great I guess but it doesn't account for the fact that I still hadn't handled myself in the right way.
So in the end, I got back on the right side of the law, regained a friend at the courthouse and owned up, whether I had to or not, for having a bad attitude. Mind you, I'd done nothing "wrong" I'd just not shown another human the dignity they deserved and I'd taken my frustration at myself out on the wrong person.
So here's to owning up to our own messes. Here's to treating everyone with respect. And here's to making sure we slow down to realize that everyone we have interaction with matters and deserves our best, not just the people above us on the social ladder that we want to respect us.
And the rest of the story? On my way out the door, the police officer who runs security in the lobby of the courthouse leaned in the door as I was walking out and said with a smile on his face, "Could you guys quit pissing people off in here today?"
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