Stumblings

Ever sit down to post and wonder whether what is really bouncing around in your head will actually come out on the screen or if you'll just mutter and people will find it any number of things and you'll walk away having processed things and yet wondering whether it will make any difference? Yeah me neither.

Except right now.

So I'm lost in Hillsong stuff today. Some of it new, some of it old, all of it a great place to retreat to.

So I think it is official that I can say I really dig what I do. I mean service stuff, not in a narcissitic way I really think I'm awesome or something. I really think I might possibly in some way have a heart for what I do. I say that in all truth with a heavy dose of understatement and some sarcasm sprinkled on top.

Today the realization was this: I'm a story junkie. Lately I find a thought in scripture and really truly try to meditate on it and what comes out is a bunch of connections between that verse and a number of others and sprinkled in amongst that is stories of stuff I've seen and then I'm trying to boil it down to some truths to live by. Basically that's what one of my sermons looks like right now. I did it a few weeks ago in Mexico and I've done that about 4 times in the last 2 days on the phone and in person. Stuff that when I share it I give myself goosebumps. Well, I don't give them to myself, but I get them from rethinking the story. I notice my mannerisms change and my voice changes and my emotions run high. I find myself exhausted at the end of them in a good way. I find myself emotional about them. I actually teared up in Mexico a couple times--and for those of you who know me that's a big deal.

I really do intend to share some stuff about Mexico but so far really only my wife and a few others have heard much of it because its so deep in there. Plus I want pictures to share. But really, I'm just not sure I'm ready to just puke it out on a screen--I really want to find a better platform to talk about it. This is too, well, imprersonal and since there isn't much dialogue about the stuff it leaves me wondering and then I get lost in my own cavernous skull ( I was told a number of times this summer that I have a big skull--not like I'm smart, like my melon is huge--like sputnik if you will).

Well, this is probably not what you were hoping for from a post but then again you probably came with low expectations. My buddy Coghill says I use self-depricating humor a lot. I guess this post might give some preverbial fuel to his fire.

Okay, so I just heard about the terrorism stuff. Seems like that might be important to look at. Happy day.