As I get old(er) I've aquired a certain addiction to coffee. I used to stay away stating that it would stunt my growth but to be honest, I'm tall enough. I also stayed away becuase I said it would put too much hair on my chest. Doesn't seem like coffee or no coffee has any direct correlation there either. So I've become a must have coffee in the morning guy. Cream, no sugar and there is a fine line between a good amount to get me going and too much since I rarely eat breakfast rendering me jittery like a diabetic until lunch.
When we moved into the house here one of our purchases was a new coffee maker. Its quite svelt with a clock and a sleek new design. Its quite nice and other than the annoying beep when its done we've been happy with it. It even tells you how long ago the coffee was brewed so you know whether the stuff is fresh or more th consitency of old motor oil.
Like most machines it has the ability to be programmed to start at a particular time thus insuring fresh coffee for the first to rise in the morning. Ang figured it out and had it working until the first time we lost power at the house. Now, the clock is always wrong and I just make coffee when I wake up. Part of my waking ritual is now my feet on the cold tile down the hallway and in the kitchen.
So last week I began to have a power struggle with this coffee maker. Turns out that at random times the little feature that stops the brewing process when you pick up the pot won't kick in. This results in a terrific noise and mess as the coffee dumps down on the burner. The first time this happened I attempted to clean it by grabbing a rag out of the sink and begin to wipe the coffee up, the result being that in my grogginess I put my innocent hand under the hot coffee as it dumped out and on to the burner. I did realize that this helps speed up the waking process.
Now occasionally, the filter slips and the coffee ends up looking more like someone used it as a spitoon with all the little chunks of skoal or red man or whatever their choosen drug was.
One final struggle with this thing has been that no matter what amount of water I put in, no matter how consistent I am, the amount brewed is never the same. Sometimes it's ten cups, sometimes its barely 4.
The last time the coffee machine wizzed all over itself also happened to be the day that I made the spitoon mix as I now call it. It also happened to be the day where the coffee smelled especially inviting to my wife, only to discover it was a 4 cup day and I'd taken most of the coffee with me. SO, she awoke to little/no coffee, that which was present was as much grounds as liquid and most of the remained caked and charred onto the burner and all over the counter.
Turns out that's not a romantic way to start the day. It was not quite as well recieved as one might think. Shocking really. I was always told its the thought that counts. Guess whoever made that one up never had a coffee maker.
2 comments:
The thought was sweet although a note saying not to drink it because of the sludge in the bottom would've been better. Oh BTW I still know how to program it so it'll brew for you before you wake up... Guess I should be sweet and teach you how to use it... although I think this might be a struggle for you as well considering the Coffee maker is kicking your butt!! I never seem to have a problem brewing a pot!;-)
The girl makes a valid point. In addition to outsmarting Mr. 4 year degree on the finer skills of coffee brewing, she apparently has that sarcasm you were talking about mastered as well. [At the risk of sounding understanding I have had similar encounters with coffee brewers. I'll bet Pam would tell you to use one of those machine cleaning procedures...see if that works. Won't keep you from sizzling your hand if you keep sticking it under there but might help the brewing consistency. I also have issues with the grounds if I have the wrong filter...]
PS. I thought sarcasm was a spiritual gift?
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