It's Friday And I'm Not On The Road

I forgot what it felt like to stay in a city for more than 7 days. It's actually quite nice.

This summer has been quite a journey for me in a number of ways. One of the things I've enjoyed most has been watching our theme unfold each week, how each guy has shared what God has placed on his heart about the topic--all from the same text--and how different passages, different angles have been seen and at times I've laughed to myself that if you could make a greatest hits of all the sermons or parts of them it would be amazing. However, I wouldn't trade a word any of them have used and it's been amazing to watch God do His thing.

I do confess that I look forward to Wednesday night more than any other. For me its the defining moment of the week. We walk through some topics they're familiar with--the wise and foolish builder and fruit (how a Christian is called to bear fruit). On Wednesday we throw the curve ball of Pure Intentions. In a nutshell its the passage from Matthew 6 that says things like this:

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." It goes on to challenge things like prayer, giving, fasting--in my mind things we do to show God we're serious but things that we're always tempted to let others know about as well. I always go back to the moment in Celebration of Discipline where Foster says "The flesh whines against service but screams against hidden service."

So on Wednesday I've sat towards the back and smiled as our guys have wrestled with how to communicate this huge truth to middle school students. I confess I've learned a lot from each of them, I've been challenged by their insight and I've left confused. It's one of those topics that you can't sum up nicely at the end. You cannot put a bow on top and call it good and everybody leave feeling warm and fuzzy, you just can't. Because we wrestle with how to do good things with the right heart, how to accept praise we do recieve and when we should let people know what we've done or if it is even Christian to do so.

I think back to the rare moments, I think there is one or two, where people have appreciated the time I've wasted in a pulpit. Or when I've done something good for God and people compliment me and I'm stuck in that moment where I wrestle with what to say. Do I say thanks and them think I'm arrogant? Do I sluff it off and then they think I'm a prick? Do you sound like a holy roller and say something about "oh it's just what God does" and even when you sincerely mean it people can't tell?

So this wednesday I looked forward to another strong challenge, maybe another step on the journey and I got more than I bargained for.

We had a good guy named Nathan Head speaking for us. I like Nathan. He's a good man, good thinker, very funny and he and his wife moved just as Ang and I arrived in Joplin, it was rather disappointing to me actually. Anyway I digress. Nathan hit a home run with his message but I honestly didn't connect what he's said till he finished up last night. Here's a brief synopsis of what he said and I hope it makes sense.

When we do our good deeds, when we live as a Christian should live there's an emotion that we ought to feel. Joy. His phrase was simply this:

When you do the right thing, God gets the glory and you get the joy.

I like that.


Alot.

At least for me it connects with who I want to be. Like when we are called to do or be something we ought to do it out of the pure joy of what we're doing. Joy to me doesn't come with any selfish tags. It's not arrogance, its not glory, its not obligation, its not guilt. It's joy. Like I feel most alive when I am living that way. For me know its the feeling of knowing that every single day I wake up and don't have a single other thing on earth I'd rather do than this. Like I feel like I was born to do this and when I hear people talk about where they are and what they do I feel bad for them because I'd be miserable doing that. Last night Nate threw down a huge challenge which I'll leave out but at the end it was a question of what God was calling them to do and I in my seat towards the back the message to me was: I want to do this for the rest of my life. Till there is no air in my lungs and I'm off for eternity I want to do this. It will not get old, it will not be mundane it will not be a job. It will be my joy. He can have the glory, His name can be in lights, I can be a nobody and a shmuk and a screw up and He can use me and all I'll feel is joy.

And then I got to thinking about eternity. The text in Matthew goes on and on, over and over about the word reward. Reward has baggage for me, its something I get. Like we do good things for the reward we'll recieve. I've heard people describe it as a jewel on our crown or another room on our mansion in heaven or whatever. I don't understand Revelation and my simple mind can't fathom heaven but I was driving around the other day and thought what if my reward was being able to place said crown full of good works at the feet of God. Like my reward isn't something I get which is how I always feel but its something I give and that's the coolest thing. And then it would be his glory and my joy. I don't want more rooms on my mansion, it would just be more to clean. I don't want to wear a crown with a lot on it because then I'd be tempted to look around and compare with others but if I got there and immediately walked into his presence (since when is THAT not a reward) and lay it all at His feet than I don't really care what else happens. I think it would be hard to not be filled with joy when God finally got His due respect. I mean I don't really think we'll get a triumphal entry into heaven and everybody will know the great stuff we did. Maybe I'm wrong here but from what I see heaven isn't really about me. Of course earth isn't either. But the only child in me likes to think so.

And so I've decided to just feel joy and see how that works out. I'm sure its an incomplete thought or juvenile or something you figured out a long time ago but for me I struggle with pride and comparison a lot and quite honestly I'm sick and tired of it. Because I never measure up.

And so may we have joy doing what we're doing. May we feel His joy for us as we do it and may we find that thing that God has placed us on earth to do. May no one stand in our way, may we simply feel the warmth of his smile and the joy of a job well done. I think I can live with that.